Being Single and Dating

This article is geared primarily towards men. But women also can benefit from much of the advice given.

Redeem the Single time

Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Ephesians 5:16

Often times, we as singles waste our time in unproductive tasks like spending all day on Clash of Clans, or doing a 8-hour streak on Counter Strike, or watching pranks on YouTube. It is about time that we get up from the couch and start doing things that matter. Not many married men/women have 3 hours a day to read the Bible or memorize scripture. Lucky for us, we have a lot of time to spare. So instead of wasting it in video games, TV and over-sleeping, we ought to do stuff that has eternal value.

Do not date an unsaved person

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

2 Corinthians 6:14-15

This is a verse that is very popular when it comes to marriage advice, but nonetheless the most ignored. God wants us to be yoked only with saved Christians. But people just act like this verse doesn’t exist and start dating an unsaved person, get romantically involved with them, and sometimes marry an unbeliever. Divorce is not an option save for fornication according to the Bible, when it is not made known before marriage. If unfortunately your wife doesn’t convert to your beliefs after marriage, you cannot do anything about it. The problem arises later in life when you want your child to be raised with Christian beliefs, and your wife says no.

Abstain from Fornication

In First Corinthian 7, verse 1 and 2, The Bible reads,

“Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”

In this day and age fornication(sexual relationship before marriage) is a not a big deal even among Christians. But the Bible is very strong when it says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

How do we look for the right person?

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”(Proverbs 3:6)

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22)

“A foolish son is the calamity of his father, and the contentions of the wife are a continual dropping.”(Proverbs 19:13)

Look for a virtuous woman

“Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”(Proverbs 31:30-31)

The newness of anything wears off eventually. When you buy a new car, what catches your eye is the colour, the design, and the performance. But after you buy, eventually it is not that same awesome red car with the sporty design, and a top speed of 240 Kmph. But rather it becomes just your car.

Many people give way more importance to outward appearance than what is needed, while looking for a life partner. But the Bible says that beauty is vain, and it is true. No one is ever going to sit and stare at their spouse day and night forever. You’re going to spend thousands and thousands of hours talking with your wife, having fellowship, making decisions, raising children, going on dates, and living a godly life. If your first priority is the outward appearance, then you might have a hard time finding a virtuous woman.

“His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” (Song of Solomon 5:16)

Moreover, your wife is going to be your friend who stands by you, and help you when you go through difficulties, and praise and encourage you when you succeed in life.

Get Prepared

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.(Ephesians 5:22-24)

Many husbands are submissive to their wives which is an effeminate quality. The Bible says that the husband is the head of the wife and therefore the wife is the one who has to be submissive. Men and women have equal value, but they do have different roles.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.(Ephesians 5:33)

In order to be easily reverenced by your wife, you have to be reverence worthy. You should stop being slothful, and instead take the lead, both physically and spiritually, and provide for the house. The Bible says

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” (1 Timothy 5:8)

Also, the Bible commands husbands to love their wives, and to nourish them, and cherish them. So start taking control of your life, and get some leadership skills.

Wait on the LORD

“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.” (Proverbs 19:14)

At the end of the day, a prudent wife is from the LORD. So focus on the things of God, and God will lead you toward a godly woman to pursue.

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